#Life: SINGLE OR DIVORCED IN YOUR 30s? || This is it. You are divorced or single in your thirties. Welcome to the club! There are many of us in this club, so don’t feel bad about it.
First of all, if you just got divorced, do not try to change everything about yourself, to become a new person – the “old you” is wonderful – maybe you just need a few touch ups to rock this year (this year and your entire life preferably)! If you are single do not despair…

(This article is also valid for you men, in some way. So stay around!)

Also available in Portuguese (PT)

Women that are free of commitment in their thirties, that are not moms but want to be, might start to panic. But take a deep and soft breath, so that worry doesn’t become a problem.

You know that there are things you can’t control, like finding the right person (you can control some things avoiding the wrong one) or when you can or cannot get pregnant (generally speaking).
Recognising that you can’t control everything, but you can be patient and do your best with the things you can control, is an essential life lesson.
Remember this: Your time will come. Trust in your own timing.

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I know that it might sound strange telling this, when I am in my thirties and have a 12 year old son, but I believe it was my destiny. I am single, I haven’t found right match for myself, so I know what I am talking about. Ah! And if you are wondering if I want more kids the answer is YES.

I wish you all the luck in the world, in finding the right person for you, and having all the babies you dream of, but while that doesn’t happen, learn how to have control. Take a deep breath, do meditation, and don’t allow anxiety to take over your life.

Take advantage of this period in your life when you are more confident now than in your 20’s (I really hope you feel more confident!). And think freely: enjoy sex, for the sex itself and nothing else. That is the way it should be, it is normal, natural, and… you deserve to have fun more than ever. Safe sex, please!!

Are you a divorced or single mom? What do you think about taking on board a hobbie or a different activity? Something that you do for yourself and nobody else. Whatever it is, do what makes you happy, and not just because it will benefit the kids. No, don’t think it is a selfish thing, or that you are a bad mom for it. But do it because you deserve it, because it is part of life!

Book a date with someone to go to the cinema or to watch a movie at home, or plan an adventure… Go out with someone just to enjoy their company without commitment or pressure. Or do it by yourself! But do not avoid being with someone because you think it can develop into something more. Don’t run away from nothing. Let everything happen naturally.

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You are in your thirties, which means you are wise and confident enough. So you know a divorce or being single is not the end of the world. You are going to feel butterflies in your stomach again, and the song is going to play a bit stronger. Let past relationships in the past, that is where they belong. And look ahead.

You are not alone in this world, so don’t isolate yourself. Never again! The thirties are the new twenties, but with more wisdom (and sex-appeal?!)

 

Cover image via @saniaclausdemina

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